HAPPY Sunday morning!

I guess it's "pick on old folks" day...


AN OLD COUPLE AT THE DOCTORS

An old couple go to the doctor. The old man goes in first to have his physical. When the doctor is done with him, he sends the old man back into the waiting room and calls the old woman in.

The doctor tells her, "Before we proceed with the examination, I would like to talk to you about your husband first."

The old woman says, "Oh, no, it's his heart. I told him to lay off the eggs."

The doctor says, "Well, I asked your husband how he is feeling and he told me he felt great. He said that when he got up to go to the bathroom, he opened the door and God turned the light on for him. When he was done, he would shut the door and God would turn the light out for him."

The old woman responded, "Damn it, he's peeing in the fridge again!"



A SLIGHT FLATULENCE PROBLEM

An old lady goes to the doctor and says, "I have this really bad flatulence problem, but they don't stink and don't make a sound."

The doctor says "O.K., take two of these pills every day for two weeks and come back."

A week later the lady comes back really mad and says, "Now, not only do I fart a lot, but they stink really bad!"

The doctor then said, "Now that we have your sinuses cleared, let's work on your hearing!"



A SLIGHTLY CONFUSING SITUATION

An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctors, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After examining the couple, the doctor told them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left.

Later that night while watching TV, the man got up from his chair and his wife asked, "Where are you going?"
He replied, "To the kitchen."
She asked, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"
He replied, "Sure."
She then asked him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?"
He said, "No, I can remember that."
She then said, "Well I would also like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down because I know you'll forget that."
He said, "I can remember that; you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."
She replied, "Well I also would like whipped cream on top. I know you will forget that so you'd better write it down."
With irritation in his voice, he said, "I don't need to write that down! I can remember that."

He then fumed into the kitchen.

After about 20 minutes, he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs. She stared at the plate for a moment and said angrily: "I TOLD you to write it down! You forgot my toast!"